Sharing with the Future Generation

I recently finished a book called "the Middle Place". The content and interest in this book is not what I want to talk about today. But rather I want to share with you the meaning of this phrase. This phrase represents the place that a lady finds herself when she is simultaneously a daughter and a mother. I have found that this transition into primarily motherhood is slow, gradual, and at times breathtaking.

This transition manifests itself when I see parts of my childhood pass to my children by my parents. Every Spring growing up we would walk to the brook behind our house and search for pussy willows. My mother loves those little gray fuzzy buds and in so doing has taught me to love them as well.  We would always sing the "pussy willow" song and for days afterward there would be a vase of a dozen branches from the special willow tree in our home.  This year I arrived at my mother's house to discover that my parents and two oldest boys had done this exact thing. Only this time I was the mother receiving the delight instead of the child giving it. 

 The Pussy Willow Song...

I know a little pussy

his coat is silver gray

he lives down in the meadow

not very far away

he'll always be a pussy

he'll never be a cat

'cause he's a pussy willow

now what do you think of that?

My Children's Heritage

"Do Justice, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly"

                                                                                              John Adams 

John Adam's pride in his family revealed through a letter he wrote; this particular excerpt is found in the book John Adams by David McCullough.

"My father was an honest man, a lover of his country, and an independent spirit and the example of that father inspired me with the greatest pride of my life.... My father, grandfather, great grandfather, and great, great, grandfather were all inhabitants of Braintree and all independent country gentlemen.  I mean officers in the militia and deacons in the church.... The line I have just described makes about 160 years in which no bankruptcy was ever committed, no widow or orphan was ever defrauded, no redemptor intervened and no debt was contracted with England."

Oh that my children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren etc. would be able to say these things about Tyler and our sons. Well, maybe except for the inhabiting Braintree, MA part.

Confessions of a Stay-At-Home Mom

1.  Countdown to naptime

2. Morning motivation = coffee

3. I use my large windows to keep an eye on boys outside

4. Loneliness becomes me

5. My children are the sweetest when they are sleeping

6. Bathtime: getting you closer to bedtime without trashing your house.

7. Cooking does not become me

8. A pepsi a day keeps depression away

9. It is not unusual to see my boys running laps around the house for exercise

10. I have a love-hate relationship with playdoh. I hate it stuck to my floor; I love how it entertains the boys.

11. We observe strict bedtimes

12. I love ladies' night out.

13. Moonsand and I are NOT on talking terms

14. I am not cut out for this job

15. Everyday is a battle between two thoughts: 1. I have got to get away from these kids 2. I am so glad that I am able to stay home with our boys.

16. I love having sons, and do not need a daughter

17. I see myself playing paintball fights in the woods

18. Boys camping weekend!! 

19. Hiking with my day pack is a dream for the future

20. I spend all day with these boys and still feel like I need a date night with each of them 

Left Brain, Right Brain

Have you ever filled out a questionaire that reveals to you which side of the brain you are dominant in? I admit that I have not, but I know that I am a very logical and mathematical person which results in me being "left-brained". If you have done any of the readings on brains you find that the right side and the left side are very different from one another.  While one side is objective the other is subjective and so on. 

You can understand, then, how I would be slightly confused over Tyler's insistence that Elijah is very much like me.  Elijah seems to me to be a very right brained young man. He tends to see the whole picture, he is left- handed, and very artistic.  Like myself he loves to work with wood, but where I prefer the natural and simple look of wood, he desires to paint his project numerous bright colors. By the way, in case he hasn't told you, his favorite color is yellow. Yet in this right brained boy I see left brained characteristics emerge.  These traits are mostly his insistence on keeping things well ordered and logical. Which raises the question, is he "whole-brained"; or rather is he, in fact, "right-brained" and the so called "left" characteristics are environmental.  

Whether left or right, what truly matters in that he is learning to see himself as a follower of Jesus in this big and wonderful world.

Winter Blues

I can just picture Elvis singing this song, hey; it is better than if it was country. I am convinced that people who really enjoy the snow do not have little children. Staying inside for a long Winter is, well, really boring. You can only play legos, geotrax, lincoln logs, and quadrilla so many times before you are sick to death of them. It isn't that we don't like to go outside it is just that with four small children; going outside is hard to do. Caleb is too young to be outside for more than 30 minutes, Andrew detestes the snow, and Josiah's legs are too little to walk through the deep snow. That leaves Elijah and I and no one to watch the other boys. If you are getting ready to have children I suggest that you get in as much snowshoeing and skiing as you can now, because once you have more than three forget it. I cannot go snowshoeing with these boys. I would have to carry one and drag two in a sled. Not to mention that we could only be outside for 30 minutes and it almost takes that long to get Eli's snowshoes adjusted correctly on his little feet. Add Tyler being gone 3 days every other week for work and you gain a clear understanding of why we are suffering from the Winter blues at the Smith house. Well, the boys don't know what it is called yet, but they are starting to get a little cramped being inside all day every day.

There are some benefits to never leaving the house though. Just ask Josiah who spends most mornings walking around in just underwear. Even when I dress him he tends to shed his pants in one bathroom visit and never puts them on again. The kid just likes to be naked. What am I going to do about that? Nothing, until he wants to go naked outside. Also, we have been doing pretty well keeping up with our schooling schedule, and chores. When there is no competition from outside it isn't very hard to make sure you do your work inside.

Enough complaints about Winter blues, here are some pictures of what the boys have been doing to stay busy this wonderful cold time of year.

Tent building is a lot of fun, and when you are surrounded by boys it becomes an art; especially in the dead of Winter.

Schooling in our house consists of a little bit of reading lessons (phonics), some number recognition, maybe some patterns, a lot of conversations about nature and God, and an insane amount of crayons and paper.

Every man for himself. Needless to say the boys get sick of always playing together. So how do they fix this? They build three of almost everything. Three tents, three block houses, you name it. I restrain myself from telling them that if they are all building the same thing it is pretty much the same as playing together, but you know, different.

Brotherly Love

I was recently reading through Elijah's baby book as I updated a few things and I must say I don't know where some of those comments come from. Here is one that I would like to share with you.

"You are such a boy - your arm becomes a gun, a stick is a sword, and wrestling is a tender embrace."

I didn't know that I could be so poetic, and sappy. I read comments like that, I see that they are true; then I get pictures like the one above  (they are hugging, not strangling each other). I am quite baffled by the apparent contradiction, but I suppose that is because I myself lack the necessary hormone to understand brotherly love.

Keeping a Stay at Home Mom Sane

The majority of the time when I converse with someone on the phone I talk to the boys at the same time.  This type of behavior can be confusing, and drives some people crazy; just ask Ali.  

Talking with someone that I am not familiar with is surprisingly not much different. While it is true that we are in fact strangers it doesn't take long for them to learn that I have 4 rather loud boys, and that I will continue to address the boys during our conversation if the need arises.  Naturally, I receive comments about the ages of the children, and how we manage, and how I stay trim and beautiful (ha), and how tired I must be.   While these are all well and true (I am very tired), these comments seem to all be screaming one thing... "How do you not go insane staying home all day with four boys under 5, and no car!?" 

Today's conversation with a nice lady contained one exception.  While waiting for her slow computer to bring up information (it couldn't be slower than mine), we chatted about all of the normal things: How many children do you have? Genders? etc... But today was different. Near the end of our conversation, Janice (her name, not mine) said that I was incredibly blessed to have such a wonderful family with four boys.  That is not your typical customer service comment! In fact, that isn't even related to going insane.  I know that God sent that comment for me to relish in my family that he has given to me. And even though the nights are long, and the days are longer, there is incredible blessings in what I do. 

Of course, my thoughts did not stop there. Why is it that I don't ask myself how I stay sane?

Raising a family can be mundane tiresome work, but I know that if I can just persevere it will be worth it someday. Most days I fall short of the mark, but I am slowly learning how to balance my list of things that I need to do with things that I want to do, and things that I should do. Why is it that what we should do doesn't always land on the need to do list? Is it because we lack time and energy so something has to go? That doesn't even get us into the list of things that I want to do.  For example, I want my day to be ordered, I want to get my chores done right after breakfast, teach the boys in the morning, and still have time to play outside before lunch. I want to clean up after lunch without the boys destroying what I cleaned in the morning hours. I want to finish reading Tom Sawyer with Eli, and be able to build him a bookshelf for his birthday. I need to do the laundry, dishes, laundry, vacuum, mopping, laundry, and cook dinner, but I really want to order pizza so that I have time to play with Josiah whom is so independent I have to literally drag him away just the two of us to have some time together. I want to go snowshoeing, and teach the boys about Jesus everyday, and not just a few times a week. I want to be diligent in teaching the boys about life, and this world that God has made. I need to teach Eli to read. I need to balance the checkbook, and call customer service reps once in a while. I want to learn how to make a yoyo and other wooden toys.  I need to stack wood; I want to shape wood into something useful.  I want to build another house, but I don't want to build a huge thing that takes me eight hours to clean and no time to do any of my wants on my list. 

Don't you think that if the customer service reps could see my lists they would ask all the more "How do you stay sane?" 

By the grace of God and...

Pictures, Pictures, Pictures!!!

No matter what I am doing, I have my camera ready at all times ready to snap the boys doing something funny, or not doing anything at all. I don't know if I could survive without being able to laugh at those moments and capture them to share with Tyler later and laugh again. Sure, I have no car, but I have my camera.  If you know me at all you know that I use two things in my house everyday multiple times a day, and they are (not the sink, and washing machine) my camera and computer. With these I can share my life with others, learn about what happens outside my own doors, and laugh about it. Sure it adds one other thing to my list, but really, I like it and I am not dropping this hobby anytime soon.  

  

When You're Smiling...

What is the definition of a happy baby?  I would say that Caleb is the very definition.  For some reason I cannot remember what the overall temperament was for Eli, Siah, and Drew. I look at Caleb and I think that he must be the happiest baby that I have ever seen, but honestly I don't know. I am convinced that it is for this very reason that I keep what is called a baby book for each of my children. I know that through the business of life I will forget the seemingly little and insignificant changes in my children. So I write them down.  

I suppose that I am going to need to go back and read about the other three Smith boys before I can fully determine if Caleb is the happiest. Not that it is important who was the happiest at 2 months. I am just struck with how much we can and will forget in such a short amount of time. I am so very thankful that we have things like books to write memories in and cameras to take photos with so that 20 years down the line I can see and read about the everyday life that I had with my four little boys. 

"Mr. Happy Go Lucky"

Boys are such an incredible blessing.  I do not know what our family would be like if we had a daughter to add to the mix, but I know what it is like with all boys and I wouldn't trade that for the world.  If you would like some insight let me share this story from yesterday: Elijah and I saw some turkeys out back behind our house. This is a completely normal occurrence around here, yet Elijah was just as excited as if this was the first sighting of these ever growing fowl.  He turned to me and said "lets get the gun and shoot one for dinner". Now how many girls do you know would say that? Well, besides me of course.  

A Place of Production

Look at that Radical Woman!

My good friend Amanda lent me this book called "Radical Womanhood" by Carolyn McCulley and I must say it is very good. I knew it would be a wonderful book because Amanda read it and we all know that whatever Amanda takes the time to read must be fantastic. Anyway, I am only about half-way through but I came across a statement that really struck me.  The chapter is describing the history of domesticity.  I love history and have thus greatly enjoyed reading this chapter; I find it fun to see the connection between what I know about history and what the author is teaching and expounding on.  All throughout the history of the United States one can see the evident change of perception. For example,  male roles shifting from working in their homes with their sons to working without family in large factories reveals the transition to predominantly female maintained households.  Mind you that is just one example that interestingly enough I learned about in US History by studying the techniques of evangelists during the second great awakening. 

Future Evangelist

Learning about other transitions or even what this sort of transition resulted in for the role of a lady in society has been very interesting.  The shift that really interested me in this chapter, however, was that of the home.  Throughout history something else has been evolving with the roles of men and women and that is how we view our homes.  The author of this book does a good job of sharing it throughout the history and shows that in the early 20th century the role of the home completed a long and drastic change. 

"Thus the shift from the home as a place of production to a place of consumption is completed"

Evidence: "Oreo consumption"

As I said, I knew this, but I had never really stopped to think about it. I yearn for my house to be a place of production. We have a garden, and are striving to turn our land into a fruit producing haven. This thought that every home is merely a place of consumption is truly something to mourn.  I am not a collector of "stuff", but that doesn't mean that I don't find myself wanting some of the luxuries of life. (I need a new computer... my birthday is in 1 week, go to apple.com to buy me one.) Yet I find that shift from producing goods to merely consuming them to be a sad occasion. The woman described in Proverbs 31 does not consume her neighbors produce, in fact I don't think there is even mention that she consumes her own produce. Rather, she produces enough food to provide for her family in the good times and the bad. I am sorry to say that I am not this woman, but I must admit that doesn't sadden me as much as the vacant homes I see from the hours of 9-5 everyday because we are now consumers and no longer producers from our homes. 

The Production Process: push one lego onto another

There is so much more that I can say on this, my mind is reviewing the subtle shift in history, and all of its effects.  The only thing that I can conclude is that the feminists have completely missed the point and without Jesus there is no hope for a better future.  

Created to Work

I am absolutely amazed sometimes to see how much we are created to work. I had never really thought about it until I had children. Which doesn't really make sense considering that I grew up in one of those homes where you worked as part of the family, and you worked to get money to buy things. Allowances, "mom can I have 5 bucks", and freebies were unheard of in our home. We weren't deprived, in fact, my mother's love language is gifts so you can imagine what Christmas was like; we were just taught to work to fill the gaps that other children seemed to have filled by richer parents.  I don't feel bad about it, and in raising my own children I would rather they learn to work and enjoy it, than have everything given to them. 

  

The feeling of accomplishment that we get after having completing a task is something that I am sure God has put into us. We were created by God to do His work. I was reminded of this on Sunday in Pastor Sam's sermon. I am to be producing fruit, not just so that I can reap the benefits, but rather so that I can give them back to God.  If the Lord has given me a gift then I am to be using that gift for His glory.  My children are, in fact, not mine; they are His. I need to remember that as I work to train them to love each other and train them to work as Tyler and I do. 

In almost every chore that we do around this house we try to think about how the boys can help us. Some of these things come easy, for example, Josiah wants to help me spread out mulch, and water the plants, and even weed the garden (for now).  Others, however, are more difficult. The excitement of emptying the silverware from the dishwasher has disappeared for Elijah, but he still has to do it. Hey, I don't like mopping, but I like to have a clean floor.  Slowly these boys are learning how we are created to work; now all I have to do is teach them how it is really for God, and not for me.  It is easier for me to just wash the windows than have Josiah and Elijah help me, but it is better for them to help; so I just rewash during naptime.  I pray that the desire to work will always be in their hearts, and they will see how what they do can be put to use by the Almighty. 

"Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men." 

Colossians 3:23

Give Her the Product of Her Hands

Josiah helping me with the frame of the new desk. It is almost done now, I just need a top, and I need to sand and poly it.




On Wednesday of this week I was at "the chicks'" house. This is not a house full of little yellow puffy chickens, although they are cuddly and loveable, but rather they are a wonderful family with the name of Chick. Anyway, I was there with my fun and rather odd friend Alison. I don't know if you have met Ali, but she is the kind of woman who played with GI Joes, and Tonka trucks as a girl, but still embroiders, knits, cooks, sews, and etc. She is one of those weird type of anomalies, but when you think of it we all are. I have met women who engage in all of those feminine hobbies, but would never wear a dress or be considered a delicate feminine lady.

Then there are women like me, I hardly like calling myself a woman even, which tells you something about myself. I would rather think of myself as a lady or a little girl. Anyway, I listen to these incredible ladies discuss sewing and I don't know whether I should feel guilty for not being interested or if I should be pleased that I am not stuck sewing clothes for my children. They enjoy it, it is one of their hobbies, but I cannot seem to get myself to enjoy these feminine past-times. I don't understand how they can read a book on how to make a particular knot and then duplicate it in their work, how do they even understand those books?

I like to do what most would call "man's work" I sometimes get sad over the fact that my husband always fixes the car and I don't get a chance to rotate the tires, or replace the spark plugs. Please don't get me wrong, I love the fact that he does these things, but sometimes I want to do them. I have boys, it makes sense, as when they get older I will be outside with them blazing trails. I could never teach a girl how to sew, or knit, I don't even know how to do that. In fact, I am not even that fond of cooking. I like to work with wood to build things, I love yard work, and my job growing up was dump runs. But in spite of all of this, my friend, John, called me a romantic. He is right of course, I may like to do these manly things, but I love a good love story, or a good song. I am a sucker for a chick flick and Jane Austen.

I know so many women who aspire to do great things. It may not seem great at the time, but all of those countless hours spent working on something that blesses the family is worth it. It is still cheaper to make your own clothing, food, or furniture, and that pleases me. On Wednesday, I saw some ladies take an interest in something that I do not understand, embroidery (I think), and I thought, "that is such a noble feminine hobby," and you know what? They are working with their hands!

Now where have I read that before? Oh yes, the very popular chapter in Proverbs... 31. You know this chapter it tells of a worthy woman. I don't know a single woman who reads this chapter and thinks "Oh yeah! I am doing it all, I have got this Proverbs 31 woman thing in the bag!"

Have you seen this woman? She works with her hands, and you know what is great? She doesn't just sew or cook or embroider. She buys land, works out, does yard work, feeds the hungry, makes her own clothes. Okay so the words "she works with wood" or "she works on cars" is not in there. But who cares? "She works with her hands in delight". I work with my hands, it may be "man's work", but it is work and it is with my hands, and it saves my family money. I am not even going to mention (or maybe I am) that when I work with my hands, my boys help, and I would rather be teaching them "man's work" than how to embroider pillows.

I am not yet a well-accomplished woman, but hey if that means I need to spend hours at a machine, or cross-stitching (which I did as a kid), then I would rather not be "well-accomplished". What do you do with your hands? Is it something that will praise you in the gates?


Elijah making a coat rack for the closet