I feel as though I am overworked. This feeling of being stretched like "too little butter over too much toast" seems to be quite common among the hardworking. I have days where I feel as though I am chin deep in water and barely keeping myself alive. I even marvel at the fact that yesterday I was about to drown, but today I am no better or worse off. How long can one stay floating so deep in water and not drown?
Oftentimes I hear people state the obvious... "you are one busy lady" or even the occasional comment "I don't know how you do it". I don't know if these are meant to be compliments or not, but I can assure you, I do not need a reminder that I am barely surviving. Believe me, parenting four young boys is a time of trouble. Yet in the midst of this, the Lord blesses me daily by giving me strength, and love from above. I know that the only reason I do not sink down into the muck is that the Lord is lifting me up. He knows what I need, He knows that I cannot do this job without Him. He even knows that this is not my forte. I am even to the point of knowing that if I ended every day feeling completely confident then I wasn't following the leading of the Spirit. How lonely and irrelevant would my life be if I did not recognize my need for a Savior every day?
I know that I have been called to be a mother, farmer, housekeeper, and educator. I haven't always been happy about this calling. I had dreams of having a career (outside of the home) that I loved, with adults, and having a small nice quiet home to refresh and relax in. For one thing I know, my childhood dreams were shallow and didn't include some of the greatest blessings that I have received from God. So I am slowly trading these dreams to match reality.
Instead of an ordered adult oriented job; I dream of educating and raising my children in the most God centered way. Instead of a clean quiet haven; I have a loud home filled with laughter and the exploration of what God has done. Not all dreams need to be traded, though, some are new and more wonderful than the ones that I could ever come up with myself. I never even allowed myself to dream of a spouse, and yet I have the most wonderful man beside me everyday. Thank you Jesus that I would be so blessed!
7 comments:
I probably haven't said it enough, but I have the BEST wife in the world!!
I love you Lori Ann!
God Bless
Ty
Your former dreams were not shallow, and to say that is to also say that anyone who holds those dreams or lives that kind of life currently is shallow. Your life simply changed to something you didn't expect. Not all dreams are fulfilled.
Please be careful with what you say. I respect you very much for what you are attempting to handle in your household. Try not to make it sound like because I am not taking care of four children that I am shallow for wanting a different kind of life. I deal with 30-40 undergraduates on a weekly basis and they are children enough. :-) Embrace your former dreams and recognize that these current challenges will give way to a more restful house once the boys get old enough.
Amanda, I think that you misunderstood the message in this post. I am not attempting to interpret other's dreams in any way. I am merely stating something that I have been wrestling with and slowly learning over the past few months. My former dreams are not shallow because of what they were or were not, but because they were not grounded in God and His will for my life. It is that simple.
That makes sense! :-) Although I would say that these feelings might be from God, to tell you that you are overworked and that you need time with adults and time to refresh. Maybe he's letting you know that you shouldn't let go of previous dreams and that you should fit parts of them into your current life...just a thought. :-) All us ladies need time away to refresh and be alone.
What a great post, Lori! God is good and I am constantly inspired by your dedication to your husband and your boys. You are amazing! You are doing a fabulous job of training your children to love the Lord. Just the other day, Eli and Ethan were having a conversation about the girl next door and Eli says, "Ethan, you should tell her about Jesus and give her a Bible!" I think that is GREAT! God is using you big time to shape the hearts of four little men who will someday be leaders in one form or another! And you are right on about our need for Jesus- we all should be more aware of our need for Him! I love you, my friend!
(sorry about the mini sermon!) : )
Amanda, I love your sermons. You have incredible wisdom for such a young chick. Thank you my friend!
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